a moment with friends in batangas

that’s as much as i could give you. a photo of our feet.

last weekend i was  able to meet up with my college bff’s to visit our friend sol in nasugbu, batangas. it’s her birthplace and it’s where she originally resides with her family. she lost her boyfriend to cancer i think a year ago and she stayed there ever since. we never got to meet her through her grieving and we decided to go there instead. besides, we want to go somewhere relaxing.

it was perfect timing. there was a feast being held at a not-so-distant town with a strange name, ‘papaya.’ we traveled through approximately three mountains and in about an hour we made it there. it was fun and we ate like we’ll never run out of food.

and the beach, fantastic.

on our way home, we sat at the roof of the jeepney. all six girls of us.

i don’t believe that anybody feels the way i do, about you now

maybe..

you’re gonna be the one that saves me…

and after all

you’re my wonderwaaaall…

wonderwall by oasis

to whomever, this is for you.

you are my favorite voodoo doll

wish it, wish it really hard that i would never see you, that i wouldn’t have any access to your life and that i would find a way or someone to redirect these feelings to. let me come out of the rage and pain, let me have a peace of mind and life of un-lingering. go away, be some other person. die if you have to.

if only i hadn’t seen you with that girl.

don’t push me.

uh oh by taken by cars

sinubukan kong maghanap ng live performance video pero wala akong nakitang matino. ito na yung  pinakapresentable: ang mismong music video nila.

UH OH!

happy tree friends

morbid and disturbing. yet the characters are happy.

i shout for freedom

the way i’ve been acting for the past week has been completely unacceptable. irrational, immature and irresponsible. it’s far worse than anything insane i ever did in college. i have been a total mess at work, much more at home. i have been sacrificing my sleep for such unimportant things, but i know would make me happy. i want to blame it to youtube and facebook, and the tremendous traffic disorder at Commonwealth Avenue approaching Tandang Sora [obviously the police and MMDA can not resolve this matter], but i know i hold full responsibility of everything. 

and that makes me incompetent.

of being what, that i’m not sure. but i know it has something to do with time management. it’s too much and i’m being punished.

spare me, i need a break.

dream job #1

if i can only be hired to do something regardless of the pay, i would want to be a dj at NU 107. i know i am not that qualified to do the job but at least it’s something i’d do with heart. i’ve been stalking bands since third year college, venue by venue as far as i can go; i only had to stop come fourth year because one of my designated professors teach the subject so commendable it was worth putting my whole effort into, plus, it was a major subject, relevant to make me graduate. so i feared him and i’ve got to discipline myself. and eventually leave my band-stalking career.

i am not a loyal listener, i mean, it’s the only decent radio station i can remember [hahaha, aside from jam 88.3 and some others], but i can’t be listening to it 24/7.  i listen when i have the time, especially if it’s november and december. it’s the time for the much-awaited NU 107 ROCK AWARDS. wahaha. it’s the time to celebrate the year with the best rock music and artists, and it’s that ’wild-and-free’ feeling when you get there [but not as wild-and-free as you can get at the UP fair].

the thing i desire the most about being a dj is that you have the maddening opportunity to meet the artists up close and personal without them thinking that you’re just an average fan. somehow you’ll have an upgraded level of interaction. the job would also guarantee you a backstage pass at the rock awards, because somehow you need to be a part of the hosting.

i realize that i have such shallow reasons to be a dj but it’s something i really, really, really wish to experience. i thought being in a call center would somehow serve as a training ground, and that it would impove my diction and speech spontenaiety. but it takes more than that to get to radio broadcasting. just the thought of applying for it makes me lose my gut and run back out. i’m being a coward without even trying because i’m letting it scare me to the bones.

as if i’m going to be hired anyway.

diamond shotgun by chicosci

finally. congratulations to mong and miggy for the new haircut. now you both look decent. good job!

i can’t wait to see you perform live again.

multo ang emosyon, ang katawan ay tao

sa tingin ko naman ginusto nya rin ako.

hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla ko na lang naisip ‘to. bigla ko na lang naalala. yung mismong pakiramdam na halos nandun na ‘ko, at medyo malapit na rin sya. kung hindi lang sana sya nagkaron ng dahilan para lumingon sa kabilang direksyon at makakita ng iba, iniisip ko ngayon, ibang tao na kaya ako?

hindi ko naman sya ginusto nang sobra. may ‘pwersa,’ oo, pero hindi ganun kalakas para pagsimulan ng isang relasyon. may atraksyon, pero kulang sa timpla. hindi ko masyadong makuha ang ugali nya, at siguro, naisip nyang hindi ako ganun kaimportante para ipaglaban nya.

kaya ngayon hindi ko masasabing magkaibigan kami. wala namang pinagbago ang mga buhay namin. mabuti na ’yung ganun, naputol bago pa nagkaron ng koneskyon.

sa twing nakikita ko tuloy sya, hindi ko maiwasang itanong sa sarili ko, “dapat ba ‘kong manghinayang?”

ang dakilang alipin ng UP Fair

 pakshet. sana UP Fair na. miss ko na ang ingay at gulo. buti na lang may videos na ganito, para na rin akong nasa fair kahit pa’no.